Former Catholic Problems: Lent
Last year, Fall 2025, I went from Catholic to Agnostic. I have many stories and some moments that make me happy I went this route, and one of them involves Lent. The 40 day period of fasting from meat to prepare for Easter, and is a form of self-reflection. During the 40 days, fasting only occurs during Ash Wednesday, and on any Friday (Including Good Friday). In my family, we also fast from meat during Holy Saturday and Easter Sunday. Until recently, I have never actually had a problem with fasting from meat during those specific days because there are some great substitutes that are allowed like fish. In my family, chicken is allowed even though it still counts as flesh meat, but my mom would still allow it despite how religious she can be.
Even though I can fast with no problem, It is how my mother and I would feel whenever I eat meat during fasting days, by accident or through carelessness in general. She would scold me and say that I am hurting Jesus, making me feel terrible even if it’s just a piece of bacon. It was more likely for it to be an accident because I get so hungry that the restrictions slip my mind, but I guess I just have to feel like a blasphemer every time I hunger for some bacon. It is way more common now since I have been on the keto diet for over a year now and bacon is necessary in my diet.
Lent has never really been kind to my health either. Every year during this Catholic event, McDonald’s would offer a Filet-O-Fish for $2.50 every Friday until Easter. One year I took advantage of such a deal and I would order a Filet-O-Fish, along with a side of large fries, and a milkshake. I would order more than I usually would because of how cheap the fish sandwich was. My mindset was “Filet-O-Fishes are kinda healthy, considering its fish”, so I would get that nearly every day even outside of the Friday deal. Of course in hindsight, that is not true and it has made me fatter. Thankfully, years later I’d go on to lose a bunch of weight thanks to a diet that involves eating any kind of meat and anything else that does not have carbs. Everything in moderation is what I live by now.
Last year, I was in my first year of keto and then Lent came along. Every Friday I had to figure out what to eat for lunch since any meats (excluding Fish or Chicken) are not allowed. I normally do not bring my own lunch because I prefer to eat food that is as fresh as it possibly can, so I would try to go for keto-friendly options at any restaurant that is nearby my work. Chicken bowls from Waba Grill would be awesome, but I can’t eat rice and eating only chicken would not fill me for the rest of my shift. I had to deal with a moment like this every week to a point where I just could not be bothered to worry about “hurting Jesus” anymore. How can I hurt someone who is dead? And I’m pretty sure he has plenty of other things to worry about assuming he really is looking over people, like my mother would tell me. I decided to just eat meat during fasting days and lie about it when anyone from my family would ask if I did restrain from meat. Of course lying is considered a sin, so I am breaking a bunch of rules that could lead to me reading off a list to a priest during a confession. I realized, I haven’t even been to a confession since my first communion. Me and my family have not even been to a Sunday mass in years. We only go during certain holidays in December or when a loved one has passed on. This year, we did not even go to an Ash Wednesday service, but we’re still fasting (except me).
A lot of these realizations made me question my “faith”. Religion in general really is not for me. I feel like even pretending to be a Catholic everywhere I go would not only make me seem dishonest whenever someone quizzes me (It has happened), but It would also make me look no different than any religious nationalists. I have seen people like that read fake bible quotes and berate anyone who is not 100% faithful to the lord. I would not want to grow into that kind of person, so I decided to turn agnostic. I still pretend to believe in God in front of my family, but anywhere else, I am just completely indifferent to any religious opinions as long as they are not threatening or offensive. So far, I have continued to put bacon on my keto breakfast sandwich even on Fridays during Lent. I respect all religions, but bacon is awesome.
If you’re like me, and you’re trying to fake your religious beliefs while being yourself, hang in there. I personally am not sure if I can fool my family for too long, but I still feel like it’s worth it to be the person I am. I’m not the best with religious advice, but all I can say is believe in who/what you want to believe while respecting other people’s beliefs. Nobody should scorn you for what you are or what you believe in, especially if you’re in a country that protects freedom of religion. The short version is, don’t be a dick.